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My Groups |Ami-Simms-Newsletter Main Page
The Ami Simms Newsletter
July 2005
Copyright by Ami Simms
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
AOL Users, please see end of newsletter for hyper-links.
WELCOME
It's July, and 2005 is technically half-way through. That's a
disappointing thought because that means I should have at least made
a dent in my UFOs. The plan in January was to finish at least some of
the sewing projects I started! Yeah right.
Mind you, I'm not complaining. That could require action, like a
rededication to my goals, or at least a list of projects I wanted to
tackle in some kind of priority ranking that I could check off. I'm
just whining. Whining, as I have taught my husband, is another way of
sharing. It may sound like I want him to do something about whatever
it is that I'm whining about but, after 28 years of training, he
knows he is only supposed to commiserate with me and not try to
suggest ways to fix whatever I'm whining about.
Fixing should occur only after suggesting, which is sometimes
confused with nagging (but isn't) as in, "Gee, I noticed the drain in
the bathtub is really slow." That means I want him to pour some of
that glop down the drain to melt the clog. I could just say "Honey,
please fix the drain in the tub," but that smacks of a DEMAND which
is like a NAG, but altogether different. I certainly don't want to be
demanding, so it up to him to note the subtle difference, and/or read
my mind, which apparently he has not done, since the drain has been
really slow since May. But I digress…
I decided at the beginning of this year to actually finish something.
Anything. Preferably something that has already been in progress for
some time, but I was going to settle for finally weaving the ending
tails of three knitted scarves that were supposed to be Christmas
presents but have been living on my ironing board because the
intended recipients didn't attend the party. I've been moving the
scarves from the ironing board to the cutting table and back again
since mid-December. Apparently I don't mind, because they are still
not finished.
I did finish two pair of pants for my mother, but the pieces for pair
#3 rotate around the room with the scarves. Madison got a home-made
tuxedo (see: http://www.amisimms.com/gonetodogs.html ) but Steve's
shirt and slacks, requiring a button and hem respectively, have lived
in my ironing bin for at least six years. Out of sight; out of mind.
Or, maybe in my case just, OUT OF MY MIND.
I cornered the market last Halloween on collapsible fabric trick-or-
treat pumpkins. I bought six of them at the dollar store because I
thought for sure they would make great fabric bowls. I took one apart
for the pattern, and used fish fabric to make a…wait for it….FISH
BOWL. Another 12 minutes with a needle and thread and I could be done
with it. I'm waiting for it to morph into something worthy of 12
minutes of my time, so it sits on the edge of my sewing machine table
and periodically gets knocked off into the garbage bucket below. I
fish it out and put it back on the table. I think it's trying tell me
something. If I let it stay in the trash, perhaps I won't have to
finish it.
Jennie received two quilts when she graduated from high school. The
first was a photo-transfer quilt which lives on her bed at school
(see: http://www.amisimms.com/jengradquilj.html ). The second quilt
she had to give back because it needed about 20 hours of machine
quilting for completion. And it still does. She graduates from
COLLEGE in April of 2006, so I figure I'm OK. If not, she's planning
on graduate school. With any luck she'll go for her Ph.D.
The Big Green Monster Quilt (see
http://store.yahoo.com/mallerypressl...greenmon1.html ) needs
about 30 hours of quilting and she too will be done. I was
appliquéing the pieces for that before the turn of the century. I
finally started quilting in 2001 and haven't taken a stitch since. It
lives in a plastic laundry basket that gets kicked from the sewing
room to the living room and back again. I refold it from time to
time, but that's all the action it gets.
I've got another giant quilt made of some of Mom's hand dye stamped
fabrics puzzled together. It's basted and ready to go. I can't even
remember what that looks like it's been so long. Stacked neatly
nearby are no less than nine tops ranging in age from "Pieced-Before-
We-Moved" (pre-1989) to Just-Completed. I'm waiting for them to
decide how they want to be quilted and to mark themselves.
At least 24 containers hold projects that have blocks assembled,
along with matching fabric, and in some cases a pattern to follow.
Another half a dozen containers hold designs, sketches, for quilts
whose parts haven't yet materialized. I also have three pizza boxes
filled with 2-inch orange, green, and purple squares that were going
to be something very important, I just can't remember what. Under
them are about 4,000 half-square triangles leftover from an Ocean
Waves frenzy that spawned one finished quilt
( http://store.yahoo.com/mallerypressllc/oceanwaves.html ) one top,
and plans for several more, the pieces for which have been curing for
over a decade.
And that's not counting the basement. Or the non-recreational
projects I want to develop into books, patterns, and workshops.
It's not like I've quit sewing. When I do have time, on airplanes, in
hotel rooms, and when I can pry myself away from the computer at home
and sit with my family and veg out in front of TV, I reach for my
invisibly appliquéd Midget Double Wedding Ring pieces. I've made
enough "melons" to take it from wall-hanging to couch potato cover.
It may hit bed size any time now. Because I keep buying more fabric
for it, I can't sew the melons together yet unless I want a visual
timeline of my fabric purchases, so I'm waiting until the new get
fully integrated with the old. I have purchased enough fat quarters
and skinny minis for a king size quilt. I'm just hoping it won't come
to that.
So why don't I finish more things? To be sure, I lose interest in
some projects, like the 14th Twisted Sisters quilt. Great pattern,
but I've already moved on. Some projects had little merit to begin
with and got farther along than they had a right to. "Amish Center
Pizza" is probably a case in point. I'll probably never get to that
one. Technical difficulties pose a problem with some projects. AFTER
I stitched 24 folded pineapple blocks, I realized that all the extra
fabric in the folds will require me to steam roller the seams if they
are ever to lay flat. Self doubt and faltering inspiration is to
blame for tops waiting to be quilted. How shall I quilt them? What
motif will transport the work to a higher level? Indecision rears its
ugly head more often than I care to admit. Let's say I've got 30
minutes. What do I want to sew on? I just can't make up my mind! With
so many choices (even if I can't remember all the projects I could
pick from) I give up and fold laundry instead.
Finally, I'm my own worst enemy. I have never been able to accurately
estimate the amount of time anything will take. Optimism takes hold
and I jump in with both feet, regardless. Like last week's new
project of making little memory quilts from my mother-in-laws shirts
for all six of her children. In nine days. I just realized today I'm
not going to make it! They'll have to wait for Christmas— 2005, if
they're lucky.
So does it all matter in the end? No. I don't really care if my UFOs
sit for another year. I live for thrills. I love the way my brain
tingles when I get a new idea, collect the fabric, and solve the
puzzle of how to create it. THAT'S where the buzz is! I've decided to
let it be irrelevant if the project is ever completed. Who needs the
guilt? Thanks for letting me whine. I feel better already.

FREE GRAPH PAPER
If you're into graph paper, here's some you print yourself. (Thanks
Sandy K.) See: http://www.incompetech.com/beta/plainGraphPaper
Elsewhere on this site are some rather strange essays. I enjoyed this
one which compares the two phrases "I could care less" and "I
couldn't care less." To decide if you could or you couldn't, see:
http://www.incompetech.com/gallimaufry/care_less.html
FREE PATTERN
"Fool Around Fun" designed by Susan Fuquay is FREE with every order
placed during the month of July. What might you want to order? My
favorites, of course! Keep reading…
HOT SUMMER SALES
Buy one Zipper-D-Do-Dah necklace and get one FREE. Offer good for the
entire month of July, while supplies last. See
http://store.yahoo.com/mallerypressllc/zine.html
Buy three of the Really Cool Pencil Sharpeners, and save over 15%.
Limited time offer. See:
http://store.yahoo.com/mallerypressl...lcoolpens.html
Save almost 45% when you purchase a copy of How Not To Make A Prize-
Winning Quilt and laugh out loud this summer. Great for car trips,
sitting under the beach umbrella, and reading in bed. See:
<http://store.yahoo.com/mallerypressl...nottomakp.html
The special continues… Get a free .32 oz trial size of lemon scented
Surgeon's Skin Secret when you purchase the new One Step Manicure.
See: http://www.amisimms.com/onestmasp.html
NEW BOOK
"Power Cutting, Too" is Debbie Caffrey's sequel to her popular
book, "Power Cutting." It's brand new and packed with color
photographs of 9 beautiful quilts and step-by-steps. Learn how to cut
half-square triangles, quarter-square triangles, and trapezoids
quickly and accurately depending on the fabric you have on hand
(yardage or scraps) and the project you're working on (large units or
small units). A handy chapter guides you to the best technique and
charts at the end of the book help you create units in any size you
might happen to need. For both books and her line of Classy Patterns,
visit Debbie at: http://www.debbiescreativemoments.com
CYBER SHARING
Della Gardner made a Twisted Sisters quilt:
http://www.amisimms.com/gardnerdella.html
ST LUKE'S
Special thanks to Eileen and Lansing Catholic Central High School for
giving St. Luke's SIX sewing machines and cabinets, plus 36 feet of
Formica counter tops from the old Home Economics room! Not only did
she arrange the "adoption" of the old Singers, she helped us unscrew
the cabinets and load them into the trailer for the trip to their new
home.
Thanks are also due Libby Lehman for a big box of quilting supplies
for the new quilters at St. Luke's.
Your old fabrics, rotary cutters, thread, scissors, rulers, and mats
can find a new home helping at risk women learn life skills. Send
them to me at: Ami Simms/Mallery Press, Inc./4206 Sheraton
Drive/Flint, MI 48532 and include a note inside with your email
address (so I can let you know it has arrived) and a note as to the
value of the articles you've sent so the sisters can send you a
statement for tax purposes.
OPERATION TOPKNOT
It seems there is need everywhere. If you have a little time on your
hands, or would like to do a little extra shopping, help this group
provide baby gifts and necessities to babies born to deployed
military personnel. For more information, visit:
http://www.operationtopknot.com
HOW RICH ARE YOU IN THE SCHEME OF THINGS?
Thanks to Sandi K. for this eye-opening website. See:
http://www.globalrichlist.com/index.php
SCAM
Kathi D. sent me this important news:
"Warning! New scam! This is not a joke! I hate it when people forward
bogus warnings...but this one is real, and it's important. So please
send this warning to everyone on your e-mail list:

If someone comes to your front door saying they are conducting a
survey on deer ticks and asks you to take your clothes off and dance
around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT! IT IS A SCAM; they only want
to see you naked." There. Glad that's cleared up.
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!
Donate G., Frank P., and I were wondering "What Were They Thinking!?"
See the six most recent additions at:
http://www.amisimms.com/whatwertheyt.html
NOTE CARDS
Fraser Smith is a wood carver like no other. He carves QUILTS! See
his newest work and get free downloadable wallpaper of his work at:
http://www.gofraser.com
Fraser also has a line of note cards. To order them, visit:
http://www.gofraser.com/notecard.htm
THANK YOU
Terry Chilko used the Puppus Doggus pattern and has sent her donation
to Leader Dogs for the Blind and Paws with a Cause. Thank you!!
ON THE ROAD AGAIN
Raise your hand if I'll be seeing you at the AQS show in Nashville
next month? In September I'll be visiting the Log Cabin Quilters in
Kalamazoo, Michigan. For more information about my teaching schedule
see: http://www.amisimms.com/tesc.html
DALMATIANS
Jodie Davis, shares this joke: Several nursery school students were
on their way home in the car when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting
in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children
started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close... "They use the dogs,"
she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

QUILTS FOR THE DORM
Debbie Bowles (Maple Island Quilts) has a new book out you'll want to
get your hands on right now if you've got a kid off to college in the
fall. Just think: you could have it finished months ahead of time
without having to pull an All-Nighter the day before they leave.
Believing that every life adventure needs a quilt; Debbie has
designed four quilts (each with a smaller "study" size for quicker
giving) that are fast and easy. They're all shown with various color
combinations, and are very suited for both genders. (My favorite is
called "In Tuition.") Pictures of real college kids are sprinkled
throughout which means that you can have your kid leaf through the
book to pick the quilt they want without "doing you a huge favor."
Seeing members of their own species smiling amidst the quilts tells
them it's going to be OK. Make them a wonderful gift they can use at
school, one that will remind them of you each and every time they see
it. Then make their old bedroom at home into a sewing studio. To
order, visit:
http://www.mapleislandquilts.com/qui..._the_dorm.html

SHARING THIS NEWSLETTER
Please DO! Forward the ENTIRE thing to all your friends and even some
of your enemies. Everybody enjoys a laugh or two. Please do NOT
forward just part of it. Somehow my name gets dropped off when these
things float through cyberspace and since I'm writing them for free,
I should at least get credit for writing them. If you write a guild
newsletter (real paper or online) and would like to "reprint" a
particular part of the newsletter you must ask first. Here's how: a href=http://www.amisimms.com/reprints.html
UNTIL NEXT TIME
Be good to each other and have a great quilting day! (Or several!)
Ami Simms
www.AmiSimms.com
AmiSimms*aol.com
PS: Madison asked me to tell you to see him holding the flag at
http://www.amisimms.com
Answer:
Too cute.
And too, too true.
As I sit here, there is a flying geese quilt taking over the dining room table, two other projects strewn over the floor, various other UFOs hidden here and there, and a brand new bag of cotton batting in the back of my car that I have no use for at the moment, but, ya know, I had to get it - it was on clearance!
Why am I sitting here instead of..........