Question:
The Insurance Claim
Dear Sir:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in
Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the
cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the
following details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working
alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work,
I found I had some bricks left over which when weighed later were found
to weigh 240 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided
to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the
side of the building at the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the
barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied
the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240 lbs of
bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is
135 lbs.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my
presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I
proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now
proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the
fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in
Section 3 of the accident reporting form.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until
the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley
which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately by
this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold
tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now
beginning to experience.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
ground, and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight
of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you
again to my weight.
As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the
building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming
up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe
lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel
seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile
of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in
pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me,
I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope...

Answer:
hehehe I read this one about 15 years ago and got a good laugh out of it then and again now.

Answer:
Originally Posted by fredricktoo The Insurance Claim Excellent! i remember this making the rounds 'bout the office. Ya know, might be a good idea to title this thread something like "The Great big ol' Humor Thread' where everyone can post jokes of the day if they feel like it ...

Answer:
Originally Posted by CoTHukoB Excellent! i remember this making the rounds 'bout the office. Ya know, might be a good idea to title this thread something like "The Great big ol' Humor Thread' where everyone can post jokes of the day if they feel like it ... Great idea!!! Most of my friends/relatives know that I really don't like forwards, so I only get the exceptionally funny ones. I'd be glad to pass some along .

Answer:
the youngsters amongst us who havent seen this will get a kick out of this. Start a joke thread. Creative titles? Have a whack at it. Have you heard the one about "the butcher dance"?

Answer:
That was good.
- Rich