Question:
A pirate walks into a bar and he has a steering wheel on his crotch. He goes up to the bar and sits down. The bartender looks at him and looks at the steering wheel. Then the bartender says "you know you have a steering wheel in your lap, dont you?"

To which the pirate replies, "Arg! It's driving me nuts!"

Answer:
Originally Posted by _R$_ I've been to this church before... really boring sermon. It's on 75th, right?
- Rich That's the one! 75th and Nall.
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Originally Posted by Thrax A pirate walks into a bar and he has a steering wheel on his crotch. He goes up to the bar and sits down. The bartender looks at him and looks at the steering wheel. Then the bartender says "you know you have a steering wheel in your lap, dont you?"

To which the pirate replies, "Arg! It's driving me nuts!" *Groaaaan*
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OK, having thought about it, the sign probably means "Call me, Daddy." Like it's a kid saying that, whose father is absent in their life. But still, without that punctuation it means something completely different. I wonder if the church staff thought about that before putting that message up!

Answer:
There's a church at about 67th and Santa Fe that always does signs like that. Drive north from 71st, after you pass 69th you'll see it on your left. Me and my sister passed it every day on the way to school... good times.
- Rich

Answer:
Ten minutes of laughs from an episode of Coupling called "Bed Time"!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=KwijwICY7PI

Answer:
Another pirate goes into a bar for the first time in many years. He is greeted by the bartender, who remembers him:
"Hiya Pirate Pete! Long time no see! But hey, I see ya now got a peg leg. What happened"?
"Arggg..yeah, laddie, 'twas a French cannon ball took it off. But the doc fixed me up with this here wooden thing, ya know".
"OK, I see that...but you're sportin' a hook instead of yer right hand now too. What happened there"?
"Arggg..yeah, laddie, 'twas an English sword whut took that off, but the doc, he fixed me right up with this here hook, ya know".
"Ah, OK, I see that. But yer wearing an eye patch now over yer right eye. What happend to that"?
"Arggg..yeah, laddie, we wuz fightin' the Italians and I looked up to see if anyone was in the riggin', and a passin' seagull took a dump in me right eye, ya know".
"Well, I can understand losin' a leg to a cannon ball, and a hand to a sword..but how did gettin' seagull poop in yer eye cause ya ta lose it"?
"Arggg...yeah, laddie, well, see, 'twas me first day with the hook, ya know..".

Answer:
Originally Posted by CoTHukoB Ten minutes of laughs from an episode of Coupling called "Bed Time"!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=KwijwICY7PI LO Freakin' L!
"I'm trapped under a hairy sex octopus!"
- Rich

Answer:
A friend of mine asked me a few days ago what kind of tatoo I would get if I got another.

"A rooster in a noose, on my calf."

"Why in the hell would you get that?"

"So I can tell everyone that I have a cock that hangs below my knees"

Answer:
Crude, but funny! A street corner to remember ...


Answer:
The Fudbuckers were starting to turn in and park. Along comes a bunch of smart asses and they whip in stealing their parking place. The guy gets out and says, "That's what you can do when you have a sports car and you're young and fast. Mr. Fudbucker drove their new Hummer through the sports car, just folded it up like an accordian. The kid was in shock. Mr. Fudbucker said, "That's what you can do when you're old and rich."

Answer:
Originally Posted by TDDanae The Fudbuckers were starting to turn in and park. Along comes a bunch of smart asses and they whip in stealing their parking place. The guy gets out and says, "That's what you can do when you have a sports car and you're young and fast." Mr. Fudbucker drove their new Hummer through the sports car, just folded it up like an accordian. The kid was in shock. Mr. Fudbucker said, "That's what you can do when you're old and rich." HAHAHA!!! This reminds me of that scene from "Fried Green Tomatoes."
"Face it girls, I'm older and I have more insurance."