Question:
I have a friend that is very close to me. A couple nights ago she said
that she was really upset. She is very pretty but some people make fun
of her. She says this lowers her self-esteem. I don't even understand
why she is so sad. She also told me that a few years ago she was
raped. I feel really bad for her and I am wondering what this is doing
to her health. She also says that sometimes she wants to cry but she
puts on a smile because she doesn't want to be a crybaby. I told her
that in class she can come get me and i will be there for her but i
dont know what to say or how to make her feel better. Please help me


Answer:
Hey Pacificmultisinc, how are you doing? Researchers at the
University at Buffalos Research Institute New York, speculate that
women with low self-esteem may be willing to remain in sexually
coercive relationships, may fail to communicate their objections to
unwanted sex, or may be perceived by sexually aggressive men as
appropriate targets for unwanted sexual advances. This study suggests
that it may be valuable to consider sexual coercion as a distinct form
of sexual aggression. Best wishes,


Answer:
I have a friend that is very close to me. A couple nights ago
she said that she was really upset. She is very pretty but some people
make fun of her. She says this lowers her self-esteem. I don't even
understand why she is so sad. She also told me that a few years ago
she was raped. I feel really bad for her and I am wondering what this
is doing to her health. She also says that sometimes she wants to cry
but she puts on a smile because she doesn't want to be a crybaby. I
told her that in class she can come get me and i will be there for her
but i dont know what to say or how to make her feel better. Please
help me Pacificmultisinc - If your friend is telling the
truth (that she was once raped), then she is probably pretty
depressed. I'm sure she is angry, hurt and in some ways, may even
blame herself. Imagine the helpless feeling of having someone take
advantage of you like that - and being too embarrassed or humiliated
to tell anyone for fear of the whole town knowing. It would be
horrible and would affect her for years to come. When people tease her
at school, are they making fun of her or just ribbing her because they
like her? People have knicknames and tease others because they like
them, not meaning at all to hurt them. Your friend probably feels
helpless and this whole rape situation has lowered her self esteem to
near zero. She really needs to talk to a professional who can help
her. You are in a difficult situation but sound like a great friend to
have!


Answer:
You really need to encourage your friend to speak to an adult she can
trust.. This is not something that she should try to work through on
her own. People who have been raped need professional help through
counseling to help come to terms with and deal with their feelings..
Until she comes to terms with what has happened she will probably
continue to experience depression as well as trust issues.. She is
lucky to have such a great friend, but this is not something you can
help her with on your own. She will need professional help and as a
friend the best thing you can do is encourage her to get help.. Maybe
even offer to go with her for support....